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The best impersonation of a cycling mannequin - a lifeless KH slumped over his handlebars unable to respond to a YHA staff members questions having just arrived at Makinholes UK in the dark after a horrendous days riding!
Best dismount of a moving bike - Mega in rain near the Bodindsee having cut a 50 metre swathe through a pasture before ploughing the ground with his bike after taking on a steep downhill with hairpin and without brakes !
Honourable mention also to Mega for his on the move dismount in the Peak District UK after suffering sudden exploding diarrhoea !
Best accommodation most resembling Guantanamo Bay - The shoebox Hotel in Halbech near Germany that required sideways entry to get in the door, contained 2 beds end to end, a window that opened only 2 inches and a toilet that smelt like an open septic pit !
Best wildlife conservation award - Goes to KH for his attempt to train bats at 2 am in the morning to fly out of a hotel room - ours !
Best effort to impersonate Stevie Wonder - KH in his €3 Aldi sunglasses successfully missing important turns when in the lead !
Nb - to confirm his award KH today in Paris walked straight past the bike shop he was looking for despite the shop having 10 or more bikes on the footpath - KH indicated he did not notice them as he was looking for shop signs !
Best impersonation of a Mafia getaway driver - Linton Harris for his spectacular driving in Spain murdering freeway witches hats, driving 2 wheeled down narrow one way lanes and taking left and right turns simultaneously in Barcelona during peak hour traffic !
Best effort by a redhead to impersonate a blonde ! - Viv Sandler for arriving a day late in Paris despite having booked car and accommodation for the day prior - we love you Viv
Best attempt to not manage stress - Mega about to self implode into sub atomic particles when navigating on bike through the middle of Paris attempting to make a train deadline !
Best impersonation of a touring bike - Mega's Avanti - covered in grease and dirt and barely held together by cable ties, electrical duct tape and occy straps after 6700+ kms !
Most useless item carried for 5000 kms - KH's GPS which succeeded in one correct directional aid before failing to recognise Island and then "drowning" in a downpour in the Scottish Highlands !
Best response to a Bob Leedham quote " England's pretty flat" - KH " that is 'j£@&?€€%#}!!
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| Mike on the border ! |
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